You Know What...?

When I was a student of Andrew Cohen's I tried to learn the concept that I am not my thoughts. I think I only understood this at best as a concept - that the two were somehow different.

Reading the first 120 pages of Feeling Good by David Byrne taught me that my thoughts are based on ways of thinking - as in, "if I dont hope for it, then I'll get what I want. But, if I DO hope for it, I surely wont."  That way  - that totally screwed up way - of thinking, along with several other screwed up ways of thinking has contaminated the decisions I make and the actions I take for decades. Probably my whole life.

It's like the logic that I use to navigate relationships, crisis, even just ordinary tasks is fundamentally flawed on many, many levels. I have a computer virus in my head. So, no wonder that I confound my coworkers, friends and family with the way I come across and how I present myself. And, no wonder that  I was not aware of how I was coming across: my decisions consistently fit my logic, which was mostly often unquestioned.

You know what?  Having flawed logic is quite the reason for freaking out.

You know what? knowing that it's just my logic that's flawed, and not ME, is quite the reason for gratitude.