My approach Pt2

She's prickly, that one. She often protects her insecurities and hides from me. She often hides what she cannot do or communicate. Yet, she has wonderful qualities. Maybe she's prickly because of me...

When we first met, no... that's not the way to start it. When she was a kid, she was willful and stubborn. She was attracted to the next big thing, but didnt have a ton of fight in her. She knew, but intuition or experience or exposure, that there were far easier ways to get ahead and she did. In the years leading up to meeting me, she may have seen an increasing disconnect between what she wanted for herself (luxury? staying at home?) and where she was headed.

I know she wanted more excitement. She wanted to be swept away in a kind of way, and she wanted to be felt, needed, loved, moved. But, she also wanted security. And, she didn't necessarily think highly of herself, for some reason.

Then, I show up. She and I collude around the idea that I am just what she's looking for, and I am, for a while. But as my unbridled ambition reveals stark limitations in holding down a job, friends, emotions, etc., she had to wonder. Had to know that she needed revert to those coping skills honed as a teenager in her room.

So much time passed. So many subtle and big disappointments for her, I am sure. During that time, she has clung to us and the idea that we were supposed to be together and forever. She let me be a doofus and tended to herself in the only ways she knew / knows how.

Now, things could change.

• I have a year's worth of experience operating with Adderoll under my belt
• I have a nice framework for moving forward, together
• 10 years together provides a nice symbolic moment to reflect and consider the future
• She's shown some follow-through and drive regarding our relationship

We have the ingredients to take everything to the next level and really be partners. We'll see.