Rejuvenation

On Friday, I had a bit of a setback. Several projects were running behind schedule and one big project deliverable was regarded in a less than awestruck way. I just couldn't take it.

I went home, drank a beer and my sorrows, plodding along at like 50% productivity to catch up.

Here it is, Sunday afternoon, and I still have too much to do. As per my last post,I'm so depressed. Basically, I allowed myself to go to a very dark place.

I look at that now, and ask why. The answer came to me the way it did for my 'sometimes i like to feel weak' post. I realize that I look at defeat as a way to rest and rebound.

There's got to be more productive ways to rest and rejuvenate, but I choose the dark places - the baser impulses - to relax. It's because i have difficulty thinking of myself worthy. That difficulty extends to avoiding planning for my rest.

I put myself behind then I'm always behind and that's proof that I'm not worthy to treat myself better.

Another silly belief discovered.