Why I Write It Down

I have an issue that probably no amount of Adderoll will help. If I dont write things down, they don't get done.

Sitting in a room with a well-organized to-do list is fine, but when it comes to changes in that todo list created by new ideas or externally-presented issues, like getting new projects or experiencing surprises, my to-do list kind of quickly loses it's usefulness.

I think I've been telling myself that I should be able to operate without a list all the time, but i think my ADHD simply wont let me. I have to keep the list updated and adjusted with the latest happenings or, sooner v. later, I cease being productive across all PERFIPS.

Routines, therefore, help - especially when they gain momentum.

I'm not "free" anymore to do "whatever." I become lazy and indulgent and lost in a myriad of unproductive emotions, like fear, jealousy, anger, frustration, etc., which stem from a history of a) being treated indifferently/violently as a kid; b) having much fewer accomplishments in adulthood than I want or planned; and, c) having a mal-functioning marriage that is often intensely distracting.

I think this is the concept I've been moving toward for years now. It's all about the Engine, and ensuring that it's safe and in optimal working order.