- Financial - saving, earning, investing
- Emotional - happiness, contentment, balance
- Spiritual - meaning, purpose, accountability
- Professional - skills, career path, development
- Intellectual - information synthesis, curiosity
- Physical - strength, wellness, sex, other bio needs
- Social - quality of friendships / free time
I developed the acronym, FESPIPS, and tried to work these spheres of life into my plans and actions without much success. At first, I tried to develop a goal for each area, but that fell flat because I wasn't thinking about the resources I would need to reach such goals. Next, I used FESPIPS as a kind of barometer to rate the quality of my life, but that didn't really work because that barometer was so subjective. There wasn't much I could do with the rating. Sometime in the early 2000's, I began using it to determine compatibility with others - usually my dates. 'How much in common did we share in each area?' I would ask. But, again, the subjective nature, and simplistic ranking of my approach proved less than useful.
And so, FESPIPS, has been on my intellectual shelf, as an interesting thought experiment, but not much more.
However, as I reflect on the issues raised in my prior post, I have some ideas:
First, it shouldn't be "Social," it should be "Relationships"; as in the caliber of extended family, friends, colleagues, coworkers, acquaintances, my wife, my kids. That's a major shift, because the previously defined "social" was all about how much fun I was having and not anything of real substance.
Second, as I think about healthy relationships in the above defined areas, I realize that the whole model could help me develop a much more powerful perspective on life.
Here's what I mean. In my various viewings of documentaries, I can see how humanity has greatly benefitted from efficiency. Going bipedal, for example, gave our ancestors just a bit more energy, which translated into just a bit more free time, which translated into a bit more life span and maybe one more child. Efficiency, therefore, helped the species thrive.
And, I can't talk about the evolution of humanity without talking about shelter. Shelter - in the form of the facilty management of my house and all the various things that go along with that is a key asset and responsibility. Like any other criteria in the mix, it's a need that must be fulfilled.
The FESPIPS model - or now it should be called PERSFIPS, essentially sums up all my needs. The fulfillment of those needs, however, is not something that I should engage in separate from my day to day life. Nor is it something that I should try to satisfy from purely interior ways - my philosophical musings, for example; nor is it something that I should try to satisfy by leaning on others.
PERFIPS is indeed a tight listing of my needs, but I haven't thought about fulfilling those needs in a very efficient way. Even more compelling, is the idea that OTHERS have the same categories of needs and a development path for each.
My relationship with my wife, for example, would be greatly improved by becoming more aware of her PERSFIPS needs. As my prior post revealed, I really haven't thought much about her needs in such a specific way - if at all. Mostly, I rely on her ability to satisfy her own needs so that she can give me the fruits of her labor - literally and figuratively. She's been paying for everything for three years now. (ugh, that is such an embarrassing thing to write!) Well, to be fair - much of the expenses have been paid by our diminishing nest egg that we both funded, but hers has been the only income for over a year. She's been using her experience in problem-solving to navigate various household and family issues. Her relationships and relationship-building has helped my networking and my career. And, her patience and compassion has given me the space to explore myself as well as launch a new business. I'm sure there's a lot more, but that's what comes to mind right away.
Essentially, I have been relying on her to efficiently satisfy her PERSFIPS needs and then reaping the rewards she's garnered from her efforts. That's a nice way of saying I've been a mooch.
Now, I dont want to put her on a pedestal and myself in some ditch, but I do think the above observation highlights a critical next step in further developing my three priorities. If I am to have a healthy mind, body, soul; and if I am to have healthy, rewarding relationships; and if I am to have a sustaining career; then, I must be efficient with my time and energy.
Thinking about PERSFIPS as it relates to directly building myself up and thinking about PERFIPS as it relates to building up my relationships could prove to be a major breakthrough in my development.
Looking at my relationship with my wife again, do I know what her PERSFIPS needs are, really? Do I know where her gaps are, and where she really needs help? We've been together for 12 years. I know I can quickly determine the answers to those questions.
And, I can do that for virtually all my relationships - personal or professional; short-term or long-term; intimate or otherwise.
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