And Now, onto ADD

I Met with Shelley and reviewed my homework, the highlights of which are that I share quite a bit in common with my dad - and oh by the way - I cannot seem to follow with my latest daily drill. Or, any daily drill, for that matter.

Shelley asked me a few more questions and quickly arrived at a possible new diagnosis - I may have A.D.D.

At first I was grateful for a diagnosis that fit more closely than the PTSD had - I was never fully confident in that diagnosis b/c I didn't have flashbacks and I dont think I was really abused that hard; not as hard as a friggin solder in war, right?


Anyway, he gave me a ADD check list and I took it; so did my biz partner and my wife. I "passed" with flying colors. Everyone answered nearly the same. The next steps I'm unsure about, but I think they involve another visit to the Psych and possibly some drugs, perhaps Adderall.  Frankly, that drug sounds awesome - high focus; sustained energy; clear thinking and absorption of new info - wow, right?

And, of course it would allow me to crush my issues with follow-through and focus. I see it as a major improvement to my life and talk about busting through the glass ceiling I've created.

The downside to all this, is that my life's narrative has unexpectedly changed. It's like finding out you're adopted or something. Now, instead of simply thinking I need more life skills training, I have an issue with my "hard wiring" as Shelley puts it. I guess changing how I think of myself is a small price to pay for an enormous upside, but it's still a bummer...