BIG FUCK UP

Today, after waking up from a wonderful night of lovemaking, my wife discovered that I had a flirtatious text convo with a woman I know. I didnt take it at all seriously, but there it was, for my wife to find out, sitting on my cell next to her side of the bed.

She scrolled thru it and it evidently broke her heart.

At first I didnt understand how it affected her, but I soon did, of course. I apologized, but that wasn't enough. It couldn't be. We did speak at Shelly's today - she finally was able to follow thru in setting an appointment - but only for a few minutes. She hasn't spoken to me since this morning.

I keep feeling the impulse to tell her that she's using this scenario to more fully create emotional separation from us; that what did she expect by ignoring my needs all these years - and so forth. But, that simply is callous. She's in pain. I caused it. I was dead wrong and she deserves the space to deal with it in the way she wants, for a reasonable time.

Certainly, I am very afraid that our marriage is over, given her attitude today and all the items she apparently raised in therapy with Shelly prior to my arrival. She really does think I "need to get my shit together," which is a bit of a surprise, since I've asked her what she really thought of me dozens of times, but never heard anything like that.

But then again, she'd never seen a texting convo like that on my cell.

I'd love to simply beat myself up and agree that I am just a fuckhead. It's tempting for obvious reasons. Yet, regardless of what happens with my marriage, I'm in the process of developing a much more comprehensive approach to improving my life. If we end, if we stay together in mediocrity, or, if we actually turn this around, it doesn't change my focus. I'll have an intelligent approach to becoming an increasingly effective person. I figure that doubling-down on my self improvement work is the best that I can do. Moping about can't be that productive. Getting angry/resentful at her is just plain dumb. So, focusing on those things that will demonstrate my stupidity was just a blip makes the most sense for now.


Anyway, here's the outline for designing a mission, vision, values, and action plan. It can be used for anything, I think, like ending my days as a big fuck up:


Protocol for Developing a Mission Vision Values Action Plan

1. Mission
1. Use networking best practices document to define / embolden the concept
2. Also informed by individual needs
3. Simply expresses the answer to these questions:
4. Why does this endeavor exist?
5. For what purpose? What wants, needs, desires, pain, or problems do our product/services solve?
6. What are we committed to promising/providing to those involved?
2. Vision
1. Compellingly and succinctly expresses a bold goal, definable in objective terms.
3. Values
1. These are the core beliefs as evidenced by supporting behaviors of the Mission and Vision. They should cover:
2. Key learnings from other MVVA docs
3. Context and mood: how we want to relate to the endeavor and each other during the process of working together
4. Points which can be measured /objectively viewed and ideally optimized
4. Plan
1. This incorporates the above resulting answers + the research to capture the following:
2. Restates the vision/goal in dry objective terms and the date it will be reached. Can include sub goals and/or action items and deliverables.
3. The resources [time, talent, technology, money, methodology] required to sustain the values which are appropriate to the vision and mission.
4. Shows how the particular ways in which those resources will be allocated, featuring task owners, and due dates.
5. Clearly explains how the Plan will be ongoingly monitored and measured for success and what variables can be modified to course correct
6. Lists “guardrails” of accountability [both positive and negative] to veer from failure and reward/incent success.
5. Plan implementation
1. Setup Phase: acquiring the resources, confirming task owners, implementing measurement and communications systems
2. Refinement: tweaking Plan per the actual resources
3. Launch and Management: Task Owners apply resources 1) within the tactical guidelines of the Plan, 2) via an approach that fundamentally incorporate the Values, 3) ensuring the Vision is realized in a way that 4) directly corresponds with the Mission of the overall endeavor.