Making the Most of ENFJ

The more I look at my personality profile - I like this site the best - the more it becomes clear to me that I need to deeply relish who I am and then develop compensating tactics to thrive.

That means accepting the strengths of my personality - the intuition, the "making people feel good," the deep need to help through strategy and systems, the ideas... the ideas. And, part of accepting my personality means embracing a path that welcomes and needs them.  Practically speaking, that means asking some big questions - in the background, of course, so as to not totally torpedo my life - about what is the best fit for me for each FISHREPS.

My career comes to mind, wondering if marketing is the best fit - or the way I am executing my marketing career. I don't know exactly, but it seems that I need an MBA or to shift focus and rack up dozens of the "little guys" be they small businesses or small-time execs... i dont know, that doesn't really resonate. Management Consulting seems interesting - on paper. At face value, it seems pretty interesting, the concept of learning and internalizing business best practices and helping influence business and shape them. But, that's just my own perspective...


Before I can go down the dream road, however, I also have to understand and accept my weaknesses:

• Tendency to be overwhelmingly caring - I used to be like this, but have reeled it in a few years ago. It's still something to monitor, tho. 

• Tendency to control and / or manipulate - I used to do this to my direct reports, but have recently replaced it with better knowledge of leadership, which I've applied as needed to my personal life. 

• Too little attention to their own needs - THIS I struggle with, big-time. I am coming off a massive work project that kept me up late and here I am again, nearing midnight, still typing away. I haven't worked out in weeks. 

• Tendency to be critical of different opinions or views - I also struggle with this, too. Somehow, I can become deeply loyal about a perspective, digging in and becoming highly protective when it makes much more sense to understand what is happening or being said. Defensiveness rises and kills the opportunity to learn or connect. 

• Risk of “faux pas” in certain social situations  - Another biggie. I often am so concerned about expressing what I think or feel, and I feel those things pretty deeply at times, that I speak in extremes. I employ phrases and imagery that work in my mind as analogies and metaphors, but when taken literally, can be confusing, alienating and even insulting. I've toned my humor down - way down - because the older I got, the more it got me into trouble and/or conveyed that I was not to be taken seriously as a person. 

• Very high susceptibility to conflicts, tendency to avoid resolving the underlying issues. My MVVM approach is forcing me to dig into my life and my skattered, unconscious conclusions. It doesn't help that I often lack objectivity and operate impulsively. But, the MVVM process is addressing that, too...

• Tendency to blame themselves when something goes wrong or underestimate themselves when things are going smoothly. My taking-things-personally, my need to please and my bigger need to be accepted and appreciated... and when those needs - those often unrealistic needs - aren't met then my "self-improvement" (the positive version of which is the MVVM) becomes "self-beratement."

• Inflexibility in some areas due to a clear value system. This has gotten me into a lot of trouble in the past - going off, assigning myself tasks that were outside my responsibilities, because I thought they were "the right thing to do." Or, similarly, was angry with my superiors or defiant with friends and my wife for not wanting to live to my values (which, I often have trouble with). I struggle with this a lot, lately, as I wonder what's more important, my values or going bankrupt. 

And, here's some more:

Here's what I mean: As an ENFJ:

• I have an innate ability to connect and empathize, mentor, network, and be altruistic. 
• I can be idealistic, visionary, and a continual source of good ideas - both from a creative, future-focused perspective, or a problem-solving, resourceful perspective. 
• I'm very organized and structured, having a "bucket" or category for almost anything that comes my way - which is a lot, given that I am very curious and always up for a challenging project. 

All that sounds good at face value, but I am also the following, which detracts from the above:

• Sensitive, vulnerable to criticism. Finds it hard to think clearly and critically in stressful situations, or in situations where there is only poor/incomplete data.
• Too focused on people, not enough on results
• Struggles with time management, specifically, procrastination, scheduling, and handling interruptions.(not sure if this my ENFJ, or simply my own poor training)

I will incorporate these into my MVVM process and be mindful of them going forward.

All this activity is helping me to be much more aware of who I am and my limitations, which is awesome. 

I must say, if I had a chance to choose a set of strengths and weaknesses  - this would be the list: http://www.16personalities.com/entj-strengths-and-weaknesses