My Big Challenge (?)

My whole life, i've been difficult to work with. I see that clearly now in a way I haven't before.

I remember when I was a little boy, my brother was trying to teach me how to catch a football. I kept dropping it. Exasperated, he finally exclaimed, "why dont you listen to me, since I know how to throw and catch and you dont??!"

I didnt know either.

My sketchy career has been fraught with issues of me "not getting it;" of me not following prescribed rules or team codes of conduct. I am frequently passive/aggressive, which doesn't help. it's a coping mechanism. When I think about it, i can summon a lengthy montage of surprised and disappointing coworkers, family members, friends, and bosses. Mostly bosses. They would all cite common ADHD symptoms like not following through, not being prepared, not doing what i agreed to do. They would also say that I was not a good fit for the team.

So, team-building is my next big challenge to learn about, I think.

But, then, as I challenged myself to go a bit deeper on why I had to always do it my way, I began to see another montage: me trying to wedge myself into creative roles. I changed careers because of it. I focused on agency roles because of it. I friggin start all my powerpoints with some sort of insanely-long creative exercise that frequently gets deleted by me or others on the team.

then, I read this: http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2011/02/08/adhds-upside-is-creativity-says-new-study.html

"In part because ADHD’s hallmark characteristics include a lack of constraint, intellectually as well as behaviorally, studies have consistently found that people with ADHD often excel at divergent thinking but struggle with convergent thinking.

that is totally me. 

Now what?