I started this blog as a chronical AWAY from my grey existance. Almost two years later, I see that I was essentially unconscious. I was wandering from fantasy to fantasy and couldnt see the world around me very clearly.
I've spoken about an 'unseen force' that kept me from success, and unsurprisingly, that force was my own denial of my personal responsiblities. I still grapple with that.
Ironically, it was also the denial of healthy pleasure and reward. I still grapple with the idea that I should spend time doing non-work things that i love.
I have to make a commitment to being aware and of being balanced with work, obligations, and fun.
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