Thursday, December 10, 2009

The New Normal

In the weeks since putting everything on the line, I've seen my wife try in her way to find answers to why she's so uncomfortable with being intimate with me.

I certainly can appreciate the situation she's in - she has challenges coming from so many angles. I also can appreciate that she has to take her own path of growth/learning when it comes to our marriage.

I just wish I could chill out and be patient and give her the space she needs. That's my major challenge and I really struggle with it. As I said to her this weekend, for years I expected she to finally 'get it' and connect with me on a deeper level and want to have a healthy sex life together. I feel like my expectations - as much as they create frustrating and tumultuous emotions - were all I had to hold onto for our future together. Now, those expectations are falling away, being replaced by . . . I don't know what . . . resignation? acceptance? Whatever the case, it feels like I have to settle into the one thing I was always afraid of - a sexless, emotionless marriage; it's like giving up, and I need to figure out a way to get over it.

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