In the weeks since putting everything on the line, I've seen my wife try in her way to find answers to why she's so uncomfortable with being intimate with me.
I certainly can appreciate the situation she's in - she has challenges coming from so many angles. I also can appreciate that she has to take her own path of growth/learning when it comes to our marriage.
I just wish I could chill out and be patient and give her the space she needs. That's my major challenge and I really struggle with it. As I said to her this weekend, for years I expected she to finally 'get it' and connect with me on a deeper level and want to have a healthy sex life together. I feel like my expectations - as much as they create frustrating and tumultuous emotions - were all I had to hold onto for our future together. Now, those expectations are falling away, being replaced by . . . I don't know what . . . resignation? acceptance? Whatever the case, it feels like I have to settle into the one thing I was always afraid of - a sexless, emotionless marriage; it's like giving up, and I need to figure out a way to get over it.
No comments:
Post a Comment