The End of Indulgence

For years now, I've been upset by my marriage.

realized by ego-chemotherapy that Ive mostly indulged in anger, depression, denial, fantasy. made my relationship a defining obstacle.

freed from that, and my neediness, i can now pursue what really needs attending. the responsibilities of my life.

it's not that i need to 'shut down' as i have in the past. it means that she isnt in love with me. her behavior over the years demonstrates that clearly. by leaving my sexual and emotional neediness behind i can be freed from my expectations. i can focus on building up myself.