Everyone is dissapointed in me

• feels like there's no "bottom" to my life
• everyone is dissapointed in me - my wife, kids (4 and 6), work
• dont have a vision for how to move forward
• feels like my marriage is ending
• Im emotionally drained, stressed and exhausted
• My wife asks me for really simple things: dont leave messes, clean the kitchen, close the door when you leave
• I think I'm doing it, but my wife texted me that my four-yr old was talking with a road crew(!)
• Therapist says: you're not a terrible person. concoct a plan to stop leaving the door open. 
• But, I can't deal with the constant negative surprises of my poor performance. How can my perception and reality be so far off?  I dont have any real confidence in myself.
• Therapist says: work out a schedule with  yourself. These things happen. You're not a terrible person.
• I am dealing with a neurological disorder. I am brain damaged. 
• Therapist says: we all have something we're dealing with, that's some level of physiological. (i.e. bi-polar, etc).
• I want/ need a new way of operating. It is so hard to disappoint loved ones. 
• Therapist says: divide and conquer - share roles. 
• I dont participate and help out my family. I could be doing so much more, but I dont have a good influence on my family. being in control of my adhd requires more energy than I have for being a good influence on my family. My wife wants an equal partner to help her out, but I continually disappoint her. 
• She doesnt understand what I am really going through and so that's why we are growing apart. 
• She doesn't respect my views, b/c she thinks I am feeling sorry for myself.
• Therapist says: this is not a disaster
• My background and childhood put me in a situation where I had to claw and fight for everything I wanted - namely, to be a good father and husband and friend. But all this means that I am no where near what I wanted. So, now what???
• Therapist says: we all have dreams and have to deal with the changes. You're doing better than 90% of the population. And, probably better than your dad at this point. 
• I am totally convinced of my failure and fundamental damage as a human being.
• Therapist says: you are so interested in following every negative rat hole about you. Yet, your kids just want you to BE with them. 
• And they will all be dissapointed in me, no matter what I do. Multiple times a day.