starting to think something different

1. first, i  thought she didnt want to talk / invest in the marriage b/c i was an ADHD fuckup and that finding a replacement would be a realistic option (once getting over the emotions)
2. I asked her what she thought, she basically agreed - i'm a fuckup
3. now, however, i think it's that I am a fuckup AND she's very stuck and gets overwhelmed very easily and shuts down. she wasnt attracted to me, initially, b/c i was fun and social. well that, and she thought i was actually more... functional?