I seem to be just very, very social. Maybe too much. I think I just need to be responsible about that, because I try to go deep, but I'm unsuccessful.
I get demotivated.
My wife doesnt give me the opportunity to go deep. My friendships dont either.
Social activities sustain me, but again to the nth degree. I think I dont treat myself as well as I need to, b/c there isnt an directly-correlated social benefit. So, I do the minimum.
My teeth arent really clean - just clean enough - so I dont embarrass myself socially. I am in just enough shape, physically, to be.. what? "good looking"?
Traditionally, I would do the most efficient thing to get my needs met. Be outrageous at the party. Zero-in on the girl. Whine about my poor childhood. So, I'm left with a very outdated social strategy, despite the fact that I am developing a stronger set of skills.
In the end I am left with the question - where is my positive reinforcement coming from?
I have such social needs that I guess that's why I come across so entitled and so needy. I am drawn to others because I have been just so defendant on that kind of support. And I dont know how to get it / do it for myself.
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