Closure

Hi Eric, 

I guess that I needed a little closure as we ended more abruptly than I’d like, but I think that we have talked about next steps and some of that is now between you and your wife.  I think that you’ve made some remarkable accomplishments in the time that we’ve worked together, and you have always taken our work seriously.  I appreciate and admire the commitment that you’ve made for self growth.  Sometimes taking a break from therapy can be used as a period of consolidation to help “re-arrange” the pieces that make up a person with the new information and skills that they have now acquired.  I may have already given you the attached worksheet, but it’s a new version that I wanted you to have as you undertake that process and continue to find meaning and happiness in life.  My very best wishes that you continue moving forward and be the "thriver” that you have shown yourself to be in many more situations.  

My Best, Charlie


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My reply
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Hi Charlie

Thanks for that hand-out. What a great summation of "best practices," so to speak. I’ll look at it every day.

I am very glad that you emailed me I’m sure my announcement to pause our work came out of left field. In retrospect, it probably would have been good to email you in advance - even if only to give you a couple hours’ notice of my decision.

There is so much more I wanted to say, but didn’t know how. I wish I could take this opportunity of a reply to your note to accurately express what you’ve done for me. I still don’t have the right words. The words are found in each of the many, many details of my being that you’ve so thoroughly and positively impacted. They are found in the minds and mouths of my little girls who don’t have a daddy that yells at them all the time. They are found in my wife, who feels safer with me; who is slowly opening back up to me. They are found in my burgeoning friendships and in clients, employees and colleagues that can rely on me a little bit more.

For now, there is one word that does keep presenting itself as a core reason for my gratitude and my respect. It’s humanity. You showed me your humanity. Moreover, you showed me what humanity could be.

You always kept me on track and yet gave me the space to fully expose myself and be honest. I never felt judged by you. I always felt like you had my best interests as your top priority. Without you, I was becoming alienated, angry and chronically depressed. Because of you, I am becoming a positive influence and example for others.

My plan right now is to focus on helping shore up my wife's transition into a new role and my own efforts to help recover the lost revenue for MIDIOR Consulting. My hope is that we can get back on “firm ground” so to speak, by May / June. Along the way, I’ll need to be there for my family like never before. My 9yr old, is probably going to need some anger counseling. My 7yr old, probably has ADHD – we’re waiting for confirmation on that and what to do there. My sister, who lives with us, has chronic pain from a slow-healing back injury, which has put the kibosh on finding full-time work. She's also waiting to hear if her cancer has returned. And, last but not least, is my wife who battles with feeling stuck and overwhelmed by the many things that she’ll need to start doing for her job hunt very soon.

They need me. They need me to be calm, focused, helpful, validating, supportive and understanding. They need me to be responsible for myself and my feelings. And they need me to deliver. Every day presents dozens of opportunities for me to do that. 

Thanks to you and our work together, we all just might get through this challenge stronger than ever.

Later this spring, I’ll check in with you to give you an update. My hope is to resume our weekly meetings (likely with a new day/time, I realize) as soon as possible.

Thanks again, Charlie. You’re a friggin saint, man.