What I do instead of Wise Mind

• ONLY LOOKING FOR PROBLEMS
• Ignoring: the feelings & thoughts I have about what just happened
• Escaping: 
• Checking-out into unrelated fantasies, video, games
• not really listening to the discussion
• Indulging in my emotions:
• fears: not having the answer; asking the "tough question" amping up the stakes
• being euphoric
• angry / venting
• depression 
• resentments
• Overriding: my feelings, instincts 
• Trying to be clever or brilliant
• Getting really excited about an ideal, made-up future ("ok, NOW everything will be fine")
• Projecting / coping (i.e. "I just have to put up with some sort of worst-case scenario")
• Mental masturbation, circling around and around the event / issue
• Repeating stories / revisiting the past
• over-working myself when I'm tired; not planning for my down time / fun time
• "forcing" myself to do something w/o know how
• Amping up the stakes
• More than just being too hard on myself, I am actually MEAN to myself. i.e. "I am a loser; I hope no one finds out.
• Beating myself up for "failing" against often very unrealistic expectations
• Catastrophizing  - connecting dots that dont exist to create an overwhelmingly negative picture
• Slipping into little boy mode
• "I'm going to get punished"
• we can't do that (why? I dont know )
• Manipulating others
• Trying to change others (i.e. complaining, "coaching")
• Blaming / Venting
• Mental masturbation, circling around and around the event / issue
• Repeating stories / revisiting the past
• Role-playing; trying to be who I think "they" want me to be vs being my authentic self
• arrogance, intimidation
• Trying to coach, mentor or otherwise fix them, vs. being more honest and accepting

Doing any of the above takes me away from reality and creates issues, which I then often compound by adding one or more behaviors to cope with. It snowballs.

I think that's how I get fired and rejected by ppl. For example, they see me indulging in fear, then amping up the stakes with talk of how much could / will go wrong. When they try to intercede or be helpful, or simply wait for my mood to pass, they're greeted with me ignoring what just happened and escaping into some overly-positive, silly / euphoric mood.