Friday, June 09, 2017

What to focus on instead of Negative Self Talk


After all the depression, upheavals and all the rest, I am starting to land on the idea that taking care of myself is my new #1 priority - versus focusing almost only on my obligations (and the resulting resentments and other counter-productive and codependent behavior). 
I think there are key things that empower this priority:
  1. Prayer; asking to set a better example and be a better person
  2. Meditating
  3. Noticing  / Mindfulness - without leaping to a conclusion, what is actually the story? What is actually happening?
  4. Coping Self – Talk are truthful statements used to replace the unhealthy and untrue thoughts that can take over when we feel anxious, fearful, stressed, angry or confused in a given situation.   Choose 2–3 statements and repeat them out loud if more helpful!I don’t need anyone to act a certain way in order for me to be me
    • It doesn't have to happen right now or exactly in the way I think it should. There are always other options to explore
    • I can only be me.
    • I need to prioritize taking care of myself, so I can be a positive influence on others and be a good team mate
    • This is just a scary thought and that doesn’t mean it’s a truthful fact
    • How can I be proactive? What can I ask / investigate? What simple, 5 minute thing can I do to improve this situation?
    • This is an opportunity to learn something brand new; what is my new hypothesis?
    • This too shall pass
    • How am I forcing myself into being stuck (because I don't need to do that)?
    • Is this being co-dependant behavior  / thoughts? If I change my thoughts, this can help to change my feelings & allow me to focus

  5. Healthy Food
  6. Sleep
  7. Exercise
  8. Connecting with people; staying grounded, listening and assertive
    1. vs trying to get something from them; judge their behavior; get them to change their behavior; get them to think something about me
    2. when they are upset or not treating me well, relax my need to be validated or supported; focus on coping self talk

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