After all the depression, upheavals and all the rest, I am starting to land on the idea that taking care of myself is my new #1 priority - versus focusing almost only on my obligations (and the resulting resentments and other counter-productive and codependent behavior).
I think there are key things that empower this priority:
- Prayer; asking to set a better example and be a better person
- Meditating
- Noticing / Mindfulness - without leaping to a conclusion, what is actually the story? What is actually happening?
- Coping Self – Talk are truthful statements used to replace the unhealthy and untrue thoughts that can take over when we feel anxious, fearful, stressed, angry or confused in a given situation. Choose 2–3 statements and repeat them out loud if more helpful!I don’t need anyone to act a certain way in order for me to be me
- It doesn't have to happen right now or exactly in the way I think it should. There are always other options to explore
- I can only be me.
- I need to prioritize taking care of myself, so I can be a positive influence on others and be a good team mate
- This is just a scary thought and that doesn’t mean it’s a truthful fact
- How can I be proactive? What can I ask / investigate? What simple, 5 minute thing can I do to improve this situation?
- This is an opportunity to learn something brand new; what is my new hypothesis?
- This too shall pass
- How am I forcing myself into being stuck (because I don't need to do that)?
- Is this being co-dependant behavior / thoughts? If I change my thoughts, this can help to change my feelings & allow me to focus
- Healthy Food
- Sleep
- Exercise
- Connecting with people; staying grounded, listening and assertive
- vs trying to get something from them; judge their behavior; get them to change their behavior; get them to think something about me
- when they are upset or not treating me well, relax my need to be validated or supported; focus on coping self talk
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