That's just me

For years I struggled with the pain, confusion, and related emotions resulting from the way I was raised. Partly, I think I was convinced that I was fundamentally flawed, like permanently punished.

I was also convinced that there were healthy people out there who had lives free from such pain and confusion, who were happy and wholesome, and quite able to take advantage of life's many opportunities.

I am now beginning to realize that I will live the rest of my days with the flaws of my childhood. I will always have the dead weight of those days inside of me. The best I can do is deal with them, cope with them like an alcoholic or junkie. Always in 'recovery' never recovered.